Today has been a hard day. Five out of the last
six days have been sleep days. I haven’t had an awake day since Saturday. I
slept about 9 hours last night, then went back to sleep on the couch after
drinking some coffee and feeding the cats. I had an appointment with an
ears-nose-throat doctor at 13:00 so I dragged myself there to find out that
they rescheduled me for 15:45. I hit the Taco Bell drive thru, threw away half
of my nachos because they were too salty, and napped some more until the second
appointment. They didn’t find anything wrong with my ears. Now its dinner time
and I still have a sink full of yesterday’s dirty dishes. My neck and shoulders
are really jacked up and my legs are hairy. I just picked up another lump of
cat shit I found on the floor when I woke up this morning and ignored until just
now when I came into this room. I thought I would do one nice thing for myself so
I hooked up my new keyboard, but I don’t like typing on it at all so it will
have to be returned instead of enjoyed. I feel so defeated that I’ve developed
a bad attitude. I’ve lost empathy for myself and any sense of optimism about
the future. Tomorrow I have to work and the following day I’m supposed to go
visit my parents. Nothing is getting done and the list just keeps on getting
longer. I don’t like myself very much today. So, yeah, they’re not all this bad
but today has been a hard day.
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